Death, Birth & Marriage? 4.12.

Good day everyone!  It has been a while since that I wrote… so much has happened these last twelve days.  Why do I write death birth and marriage?  Perhaps the when I am more stricken by the happenings in my life along with the busy-body lifestyle I am more likely to forget to write in my journal...  I am also going to the post office today to send some letters… if you would like a letter, please email me your address!  Clklein1@asu.edu  I remind myself it is a “healthy” part of my Nanjing life.  It makes me feel more connected with my U.S. relations.

Death



 Last weekend we went to 常熟, a small city on the outside of town (about three hours out of Nanjing)  -quite a developed city.  Our hotel was $35 per night, but it was luxurious!  Cali was my roommate and we really wanted to stay in our hotel for most of the time – but no chance with our excursion.  The students – both the Masters students and the undergraduates were mixed and split into three groups to study burial sites and how Chinese pay respects to past ancestors.  My group’s focus was about the common people’s beliefs and practices.  We visited a gravesite, several Buddhist temples, and participated in a family’s pre-burial prayer ceremony.

I have been to many Buddhist temples before… not match those of Tibet in my opinion, but I sort of feel after I have been to one temple I have been to them all.  The most interesting aspects of the gravesite were: the descending style of graves upon a hill (as opposed to U.S. flat grounded rows of gravestones)  The families bought carnations for the holiday and placed them atop of the grave.  In the past incense was also burned by the graves, but because of pollution requirements this has been contained to an extent.  I was most fond of the experience visiting a family’s home, it was a ceremony of Daoism and Buddhism fused together:

As we entered the home, the family members wore white jackets and white bands around the forehead.  Although the home was a rather small apartment, there were at least 25 people inside.  When I entered to the right was a small altar with food offerings, burning incense, candles, Buddhist banners hanging from the ceiling and a photo of the loved one.  The grandmothers/mothers/aunties sat on the floor folding 5x5” pieces of paper into origami bags.  These were to be burned at the funeral representing money for the dead one in the afterlife.

To my left were 6 Daoist Priests rattling chimes, tapping drums, and strumming a Pipa while chanting prayers.  This is all very interesting to me as I have never seen this before.  This activity lasts the entire day.

I asked the priest:  What do you (all) believe happens to the soul / spirit when the love one dies?

Daoist Priest:  Their spirit goes to the spirit world… they are always with us, but we believe the offerings, burned prayers, burned money paper, and fruit are things that we must tend to for their well-being in this life.

Me:  Is there heaven?  Is there hell?  Buddhism has many layers of heaven and many layers of hell?

Daoist Priest:  No, we believe in more of an afterlife… although we go to Buddhist temples to pay our respects to the dead, many years have fused these belief systems together.

Very Interesting!  We students bowed our heads (as expected by all) towards the photograph of the grandmother who passed away … Cali was the smartest one who offered to help fold the paper for burning this allowed the hosts to receive our presence more warmly.  My assignment was to write about this fusion of Daoism and Buddhism.

Birth

So…  If you read my last entry… perhaps I was lacking the warm company of someone… As replacement for this need for something to cuddle with…  I decided to raise a small kitten.  Obviously this means I plan on being in China for quite some time.  When I look for this “internship”  (which by the way – heads up for other flagship students this is more of an independent process) I will be looking for both a paid internship and a lead into a job-job which will fulfill my Boren requirements.  I have decided to start looking in Shanghai, Shenzhen and even Hong Kong. 

So this kitten – I got her at 夫子庙  =)  Fuzi Miao (a very renao 热闹 lively shopping center) . She was only 50 yuan when I found her… and much to small to be sold to anybody.  But when our eyes met, it was like love at first sight =)  I couldn’t tell her no.  So she came with me home and I looked up online how to feed a small kitten.  She has already grown a bit and has become very healthy.  Where I go  “Fifi” will also go  (my roommate and I debated on whether or not to call her “Meow 泽东” (after Chairman Mao) because her personality is much too fighsty for a name like “Fifi”  -But that name would only be used at home =)  But it is great… instead of going out to coffee shops, I stay at home and save money, studying with her all balled up in my lap.  That is the new “life” in my Nanjing; a newborn kitten.

Marriage



And now… my dear friend Kaytlin was recently married this weekend.  According to me, the most important events in life are simple:  Births, deaths and marriages.  Although my life in Nanjing feels quite wholesome and my homesickness is not a problem at all, being absent during these life-important events is hard for me to swallow.  Sometimes I realize we don’t understand ourselves until we are faced with new struggles or problems.  I woke up at 5:30 to catch a 6:15 skype call but my friends were very busy with the wedding preparations (Completely understandable)!  Then my roommate Liyue walks in and asks… “how was it?”  ugh!  I surprised myself and broke down a little bit…

My roommate is so sweet that when she was out on her breakfast run that she picked up some chocolate to cheer me up =)  so sweet!

But so busy… I think you can see why it is hard to fit in an once of time to write, but I am doing my best to narrate my personal account of Nanjing, and my feelings thereafter… but I wrote twice as much to compensate, and you can see that I could connect everything these last 12 days… kind of deep, but one is affected more when away from their usual habit!

Today I will send mail home, take a professional photo for my Chinese resume, and begin the application process.  My roommate helped me completely go over my resume and cover letter.. again!  And now the hunt begins… will keep you posted, wish me luck!