Okay - so last you heard, I was having fashion issues at the office, and my boss Tan Cruse (haha Tom Cruse get it? haha - made you smile) was trying to force feed me a sales pitch. Okay - well, still waiting to have lunch with this American fellow - that hasn't happened yet, but I thought I might comment a bit on his behavior after I sort of... softly... got my way with the situation. One thing I have absolutely learned in these situations is: as an American in a Chinese cultural setting - it is best to always be more sensitive as opposed to less. Trying to predict behaviors of people also improves your reaction time - whether the situation is surprising to you - or not!
Let me begin by saying - the second day I arrived I was invited to the house of my boss's parents for dinner. People - in the U.S. this is can be either a big deal or a no sweat situation. But more often than not, being invited over for dinner here on this side of the pacific.... it seems to be a pretty big deal. One thing to remember - is when invited over - never come empty handed! Cruse was very casual... so this was a good sign, and also he was married - the wife was coming, and this was relieving to me... I shouldn't have to worry as much in that department. I'm probably just interesting to them because I'm foreign. Even though I'm doing my best to fit in - do as the locals do... sometimes, I can't help but behave a certain way because I am foreign. Were I just another Chinese intern, I'm not so sure I would have been invited over for dinner, but this is kind of like, "look mom and dad, a foreigner who isn't Russian that can speak decent Chinese!"
So, that evening Cruse and his wife (who comes from Harbin in the far North) came to pick me up! I had just got back to the hotel that day (15 minutes before they arrived) picking up cheese cake and brownies from the local Pacific Coffee Company. Cruse noticed my bags and said... "oh , really you shouldn't have to worry, we are so relaxed, don't be nervous about my parents, we're really not that traditional, my wife is probably more tense than you are" - but let me tell you for giving first impressions, being the new kid in town at work, and having all eyes at me at the dinner table - I absolutely have high nerves and pretty much ignored what he was saying to make me chill out. Dinner was fantastic, sometimes funny too... the parents wouldn't accept that I really actually understood Chinese (probably a generational thing) and would keep telling their kids (20-30's -Cruse included) that I needed more food... haha, and then they would look at me and smile and laugh, telling him "She understands what you're saying just ask her...?" lol
Dinner was over - and the cakes / brownies I brought were well received. Of course they offered to open it to be polite, but I told them "No, -really no worries, eat it at your leisure, you can open it later if you like, I'm so full!" Dinner was a success.
So when I went to work the very next day (remember they made me go to work only 3 days after arriving - I had not even moved into my apartment yet) and Cruse was very warm - im'ing me on "QQ" (like aol instant messenger with a Penguin lol )every so often. Gradually as the last two weeks work on... his messages on QQ became less frequent, and after the incident from my last posting - the American business contact & Wendy talking to him - the im'ing completely stopped. I'm quite sensitive I think, so I pick up on these things. In fact, he didn't message me the rest of the week after that incident and rarely stopped by to say hi.
I am almost positive it is because I made him lose a bit face when he realized, I kind of know how to play ball when I feel strongly about something - for example I got my way, surprised him. Not that the friendship between laoban (boss) and shixisheng (intern) has gone sour - in fact we had a meeting today with one visiting teacher of mine, and he was very warm again... but I analyzed his behaviors as a result of something.
Oscar the Bossman
Related to this: (in noticing people's behaviors towards me) Let me introduce to you Oscar - the head of our Shenzhen office - the big Laoban (big boss) - actually he's actually a smaller framed guy. Very nice, but huge ego. He asked me one time plopping himself in a chair next to my cubicle "So Kailin, what is our business about?" ... I go on explaining the implications of a brokerage in the business of importing/exporting goods and he started dropping English-bombs intermittently through my explanation. I wasn't annoyed, but just trying to be helpful when I realized his English pronunciation of things was just not understandable, -at all. So, of course once again, I am like a highlighted word on a piece of office paper in my office. When I laugh, people wonder what's funny, if I say something curious, someone will randomly poke their head out of their cubicle like a cute little prarie dog and keep listening... lol So I'm correcting Mr. Big Laoban Oscar's indistinguishable English and Wendy smirks "haha Lan Laoshi" - and then I notice the tone of Oscar's voice shrinks... I then realized, because Oscar is "Big Boss Man," it would be much much better if I was NOT Lan Laoshi "Teacher," because I was discrediting his English skills by doing so and furthermore making him lose a bit of face. So, now I may much more attention to the tone of my voice and natural urges to be helpful... haha sometimes I guess when I think I'm helping - I'm really not!
Viva La Vivian
So I did mention the Sales lead who thought I was having a bad hair day to the point of making me go with her to the hair dresser. This relationship at work is very interesting. Never before have I met such a hot/cold woman before. She is the sales lead, but she is also my intern 'trainer'. These last couple days Jenny (the other newbee) and I have been studying our training manuals and then having afternoon sessions with miss Vivian. When we had these sessions, I could hear the lyrics "your as cold ice" playing in the back of my mind. She would ask us questions, but not until the 4rth failed attempt of trying to answer did I realize she was being coldy rhetorical... I wasn't actually supposed to be answering her. I would say something, and she'd be like "ya uh huh -" and then quickly continue.... sometimes as was thinking... but wait, we got hair massages together, I thought this meant something special between us? Other times she would look at Jenny and say "Yeah, you need to memorize these states and cities, Caitlin already knows them all because she's American" Jenny would sweetly nod her head, but I would feel kinda bad for her... I guess it's fair, I'm doing it all in Chinese, and Jenny is learning all my country's States, postal abbreviations, and capitals.
So when attending training, Miss Vivian was as cold as ice! But so funny - she has quickly learned my coffee habit, and once in a while she would drop off a little instant coffee for me at my desk in the afternoon. I thought... hmmm here's my chance! The next morning I thought of a good olive branch "Hi Vivian - I'm at starbucks - can I get something for you?" Okay, maybe sucking up a little bit, but you know? Her hot / cold thing going on confuses the heck out of me... and I'm a woman, I should be able to understand my own breed. She accepted! -And the next day she got me one-cup drip coffees from Disneyland in a cute Minnie Mouse box. Great Success (Borat accent LOL ^.^)
Yuan Yuan
So the last latest greatest thing I have to say... is this time around - I'm making friends much much much much faster than I have in other cities - this is my method: get active. By the cheesecake and brownies for your boss's family when invited to dinner, help Maya your coworker get Under Armor clothing by purchasing online and let her pay you back in cash, pass the olive branch to Vivian by thinking of getting her a Latte in the morning, offer help with English, if you go to a gym, try out a personal trainer! All of these things have made me make some instant friends this time around. My personal trainer - is one of the best investments I've made in the mainland. First of all - not a waste of money, because I can't buy clothes and shoes due to lack of luggage space, and because I'm a chic I don't spend a whole lot of money on food. Yuan Yuan, my personal trainer is in her late twenties, and on the third time we had a session (she's very professional btw) asked me to go out to dinner with her and other gym friends. Great success again! Also me and three other ladies have a little "I like to go to the gym everyday" click... it's kinda fun though =) According to Cruse at my meeting with my teacher today.. I'm making good relationships already!
Other Awkward Moments:
-I went to the beach last weekend... I needed some sun because I don't want to turn office white. I went for an hour and felt extremely awkward that I was the only one who WASN'T huddled under a shady umbrella... also the only one in a bikini... >;/ lol not sure if I want to go to the beach like that again. Awkward moment.
-I thought I could add more positivity to my work environment, and make my coworkers feel comfortable about getting English help from me by posting an "English word of the day" on my QQ... at first I got great feedback, people commented and really liked it, Oscar was the first one to make a good comment using the English phrase I taught (I think it was "something up your sleeve")... the third day... people made comments and then Oscar said on QQ, something to the effect of "yeah people, it's Monday... act like it!" - after that I felt like he thought I was creating some sort of distraction, so I stopped the English word of the day. Awkward moment.
-Today as I was getting hot water for my Minnie Mouse Disneyland drip coffee from Vivian, Ella the front office lady just casually walks around the corner and smacks my butt... I was like 0_0. I had no idea what to say... no Chinese girl every pulled that one before. She thought it was really funny though. Okay, so maybe my personal trainer is doing a decent job.. but Ella? She's got me confused, doesn't look like someone who goes both ways..if you know what I mean, but also maybe she's just kidding? No idea... all I did was say.. hey! Yeah... Awkward moment.
Nighty Night - past my bed time, gotta be up early again tomorrow!
Caity
No comments:
Post a Comment